February 7, 2018

Scavenger Ruck 001 at the Barracks

AO: The Barracks

PAX: Bookworm, Shoestring, Snookie, Soybean (QIC)

THE SCENE: 32* and breezy; it had just stopped raining at 0515

YHC gave the disclaimer and explained our workout during a lap around the track. 


YHC eagerly signed up to Q at the new Barracks ruck workout. While YHC prefers to just ruck fast and get #milez, I wanted to find a way to engage our minds a little bit. I decided on a scavenger hunt. Admittedly, some of the clues are not great. All 4 PAX attended (or at least enrolled) at the U of M at some point, so we were all somewhat familiar with campus. I also wanted to engage our arms/shoulders, so I brought my #Club345 CMU, a 35# kettlebell (which deserves a nickname), and Bruce’s 60# sandbag. 

1) All clues will be numbered, to be carried by a designated individual
2) Each clue sheet will include a clue, time hack, and penalty
a. Forward leaning rest position will be held by all PAX except the reader while they ponder the clue
b. Reader will not read clue until all PAX are in rest position
c. Q will track time hacks from when the PAX head out
d. Penalty will apply if PAX fail to reach the destination within the time hack
3) Q will confirm all locations upon arrival (no markers will be placed ahead of time)
4) PAX will abide by the Leave No Man Behind standard and stay together
5) When passing an American flag, the group will perform 10 merkins IC (U-S-A count)

1st clue: The “Great Ancestor” stands tall, presiding over a new avenue – his original home was on the mighty river
Time hack: 6 minutes
Penalty: Chinook Squat 10 IC
Answer: Ramesses II statue on the North side of campus, facing Central Ave – it was relocated there from the Pyramid a few years ago

We made the time hack! YHC was disappointed because the image of us circled around a statue of an Egyptian pharaoh/deity doing Chinooks was very, um, arousing appealing. 

2nd clue: not the highest, but more useful, especially if you forgot your watch in the dorm
Time hack: 6 minutes
Penalty: Merkins 10 IC
Answer: Clock tower next to the UC

YHC planned the time hacks based on a 15 minute mile pace. YHC (purposefully) did not account for pace being slowed by coupons. YHC doesn’t care for excuses. The base of the clock tower was in sight within 4 minutes. Unfortunately (fortunately?) we were approaching a plaza that had American flags at BOTH ends. We stopped at the first, dropped the coupons, planted the flag, and did 10 merkins, U-S-A cadence-style. When we recovered, a man was walking past giving us a strange look (well-deserved). We gathered up the coupons, walked another 40 yards, and hit the second flag. Dropped for another 10 U-S-A merkins. Gathered up the coupons, got to the base of the tower. Obviously, we missed the time hack because of the flags, but that’s life and rules are rules. Unfortunately (fortunately?), the penalty was 10 more merkins.  

3rd clue: You can’t ship stuff here, but maybe you can learn how – Richardson’s old neighbor
Time hack: 6 minutes
Penalty: Ruck swings 10 IC
Answer: FedEx Institute of Technology, Northwest corner

When this clue and time hack were read, the PAX groaned “We’re not making that.” YHC chuckled, and off we went (we didn’t make it). Ruck swings x10 engendered more strange looks from another passerby. There was also someone in an Oldsmobile playing “Sky Walker” by Miguel VERY loud. YHC is a fan and didn’t mind. 

4th clue: closest source of malt liquor and cigarettes
Time hack: 8 minutes
Penalty: Squat to Overhead Press 10 IC
Answer: Scootie’s One Stop, Southwest corner on Walker

This clue was written for Shoestring and he nailed it. We were probably 60 yards away when I heard my timer go off. Another missed time hack. 

5th clue: Beds, but no one sleeps here – veggies for dozens
Time hack: 9 min
Penalty: 8 count body builders 10 IC
Answer: Vegetable garden next to ROTC track

YHC read this clue and decided to leave off the veggies part. Took the PAX a minute to decide on this one, but Shoestring knows his AO and made the right call. We arrived at the garden at 0611. There wasn’t time to do clue 6, so we did the body builders penalty instead. YHC was sad because 1) 8-count’s are the worst, and 2) I was looking forward to the garage sprint. Next time! We finished the body builders at 0614 and called it a day (or so we thought!). 

6th clue: THERE IS NO CLUE – you have 4 min to sprint to the far wall at the top of the parking garage
Time hack: 4 min
Penalty: Squats 10 IC

During COT, Shoestring gasped. We turned around, and saw the our flag lying in the mud, like an old, discarded rag. What’s happened?! You maniacs! We mourned. O, how we mourned! Because we knew, somewhere in the very near future, we’d be doing 10 penalty burpees. 

4 PAX, Snookie’s first time at the Barracks (will he ever come back??)

YHC has been wrestling with identity lately. Struggles at work and home can cause us to identify as failures and be paralyzed by shame. There’s a J.I. Packer quote I keep on my desk to remind me of the truth:

“I am a child of God. God is my Father; Heaven is my home; every day is one day nearer. My Savior is my brother; every Christian is my brother, too.”

Our failures do not define us; our belief in Jesus’ work on the cross defines us as children of God, and therefore heirs with Jesus. Heaven is our promised home, not this fallen world. YHC tried to encourage the PAX to find their identity in Jesus, not in their failures. 

YHC enjoyed plodding around campus with his brothers. No one enjoyed carrying the kettlebell (aka Big Baby?…Spawn of Satan?…Damien?). I have a feeling this won’t be the last time we see him in the gloom.