August 13, 2018

Proper Squat Form

THE SCENE: an imperfect 75° with an inconsistent breeze and an off-key cacophony of cicadas


-5 burpees because it was warm
20 SSH
-5 burpees because the counting sucked
15 Imperial Walkers
-5 burpees because nobody’s elbows actually touched their knees
20 Daisy Pickers
-5 Burpees because somebody wasn’t standing all the way up

Nobody does squats the right way except Gus and Nature Boy so we go’n work on it
15 toilet seat squats on yer CMU
-10 Baby Makers
20 CMU thrusters
-10 Supermans (lay on yer gut, bring elbows and knees off the ground, and your hands a feet y’lazy bums)
10 pistol squats (5 each leg)

Mosey – 5 burpees to let the 6 catch up: TCLAPS Choker for being a decent AOQ – excused from burpees
Mosey some more

10 Minute Drill (a la Gepetto)
Every minute for 10 minutes
-10 BBS
-5 Merkins
-10 Squats with perfect form

(time to climb into your head and embrace the suck, tunes assisting)
Q was sneaky and used the SUCK to trick EVERYONE, even himself

-10 Merkins
-10 Squats

Mosey – 5 burpees because when the Q was young, they did this in the SNOW!
Mosey some more

It wouldn’t be a Hitch-Q without some sprints!
Sprint 30 yds – 10 Merkins (The Q did Chauffeur’s Merkins because he beat the Q sprinting, that young man has some potential)
Sprint 30 yds – 10 Merkins
Sprint 30 yds – 10 Merkins
Sprint 30 yds – 10 SQUATS!

6 inches until the Q was done
30 Hello Dolly’s because everyone seemed to think the Q would stop at 20
20 WWI Sit-ups because they were real men, and they did what they did without Brooks running shoes and fancy socks
30 Seconds Plank Q allowed each PAX chose high or low plank individually ::menacing chuckle::
30 MORE SECONDS OF PLANK this time PAX had to switch to the other plank ::bwahahaha::
10 Aw Yeahs courtesy of Choker, because a true Q always pays his respects to another mans AO

10 PAX (0 FNGs were brave enough to taste what Old Man Hitch cooked up)
Woodpecker, Choker, Carport, Casio, Commie, Flobee, Orange Julius, Gilligan, The Chauffeur

The Q made note of the importance of brotherhood. We married men have plenty of opportunities for to commune with our families but at times we can forget that community among men doing hard things is different. While fixing the sink, helping with homework, and leading your family is a calling, we miss out on the encouragement of our Brothers and at times, and sometimes more importantly, their admonishing.
When life sucks Brothers remind us that we are not alone. They laugh and cry with us. Pray for and with us. But the best part is, when the devil closes in and convinces us that “life is hard, you can take a break,” Brothers get in your face and tell you to get up, the harvest is plenty but the workers are few.
Life is hard, let’s do it together.

The Chauffeur is fast, but the Q is still faster. The Morg was nice, but I wonder if any Morglians would hang with the Inner Loopers. Hmmm. Also man, I wonder what Phat Pat was doing while we were doing pistol squats…

Good work boys. Thanks for letting me play my music.

GrowRuck12 needs more mans.