Popsicles. They can bring joy to our hearts or strike fear in them.
The scene actually started in my car as I was driving south on Raleigh-Millington and noticed pale flashes of lightening in the distance. I immediately entered into the five stages of grief:
- Denial: “ There’s no way I’m seeing lightening right now!” Would’ve closed my eyes if I wasn’t driving. ????
- Anger: “THAT’S HORSE @#$%!. IT CAN’T LIGHTENING! IT’S NOT IN THE FORECAST! ????
- Bargaining: “Maybe it’ll go away. ‘Dear Lord God…. ????????
- Depression: “Our workout is ruined! Everything is ruined! My life is ruined! How long O’ Lord…?” ????
- Acceptance: “Oh, hey! Nobody is saying anything about it on slack. Guess we gone workout in this lightening! ???? ????
Not another word about it until Now. Probably shouldn’t have even mentioned it. Let’s get started.
PAX showed up this gloom to a pile of various instruments of torture in the center of what would become this morning’s circle of painful shenaniganery. CMUs. Dumbells of various sizes, elastic straps, etc.. “what the h3ll is all this?!” In due time my pets, in due time.
F3 WELCOME & DISCLAIMER
ISW (always) x10 IC
Daisey Pickers x15 IC
Lap around the parking lot x1 OYO (Bob Ross left us in the dust)
Cobains to Phat Pat for further humbling YHC by correcting me on not stating that the SSH would be IC. Oh BTW, Hey Gus PHP posted at the Morg this morning!
Among the instruments present this gloom was a handful of popsicle sticks which looked harmless. They weren’t. Each had written on it one of the following exercises:
- Lap with CMU
- Jump Squats
- Monkey Humpers
- CMU Curls
- CMU Dips
- Burpees (YHCs ole arch enemy)
- Empty space between these two stations. Well it wasn’t actually empty. This is where Phat Pat sat doing CMU curls, stretches, and other questionable things (we’ll get to those in a min) and watching the rest of the PAX get smoked.
- CMU Rows
- CMU Squats (2 CMUs were used for this one but I think that was Handsy’s idea. Tclaps)
- Alternating Shoulder Taps
- Dumbbell Overhead Press (15LB)
- Mountain Climbers
- Carolina Drydocks
- CMU Durkins
- High Knees
- Dumbbell Baby Arm Circles (2.5lb) (That’s what Three Hugger was holding in the picture. Shoulda gone for the 15s. Now we look like sissies on the internet)
- Dumbbell Shoulder Raises (8lb)
- WW1 Situps
Here’s how it went. On YHC’s command the PAX with the CMU lap stick begins two laps around the circle while all other PAX begin AMRAP of their designated exercise. Upon reaching startex PAX running the CMU laps yells, from the diaphragm, “RUBBER NIPPLES” signaling all PAX to shift to the right and repeat. Once all PAX have completed each station the evolution is complete and everyone is regretting not fartsacking.
OK now you’re thinking “rubber nipples? Soulja Boy is either a genius or a madman”. Well it’s genius, really. I needed a random phrase that wouldn’t occur naturally in the rest of the mumblechatter causing everyone to prematurely stop working out and try to shift. That would RUIN EVERYTHING! Sorry for yelling. Shortly into the celebration, the phrase “rubber nipples” morphed into “rub yer nipples”. This, I think, was inspired by Phat Pat over in his corner rubbing his nipples. It really was kinda weird. There’s just something wrong with any scene where one man is performing “Susan Summers” with a smile while every other dude around him is mumbling and groaning. Slicnut was right. Morglians just aint right sometimes.
Anyway, that really sucked! How bout a short break, Q? Sure thing, gang. Two line indian run to Bartlett Blvd then back to startex during which we were greeted enthusiastically by some ladies who regularly workout at Freeman Park. I think they temporarily joined the line YHC wasn’t in but fell off the wagon well before arriving back at startex. Chicks.
Anyway, nice break. Rinse and repeat the whole popsicle stick thing. Second time seemed a lot harder. Not exactly sure why. The exercises were exactly the same. Finished just in time for a 30 sec count and 5 minutes of Mary.
Dealers choice. All exercise must be IC and led by the PAX that chose it.
- WW1 Situps x20 IC – Zima
- American Hammers x19 IC – Wall Builder (I know. 19?)
- Peter Parkers x15 IC – Handsy
- 1 min Plank OYO – Carport
COUNT-OFF & NAME-O-RAMA
19 PAX (no FNGs, 1 walking wounded) Soulja Boy (QIC), Tree Hugger, Cowbell, Bubblegum, Bottomless, Woodpecker, Fleabag, Orange Julius, Handsy, Granola, Jasmine, Zima, Bob Ross, Carport, Sleep Number, Phat Pat, Choker, Wall Builder, Slots
CIRCLE OF TRUST/BOM:
Cliff notes from a recent conversation between YHC and a friend I have had the privilege of discipleing over the past 1 ½ years regarding salvation and where the heart should lie in the matter:
Wrong approach to salvation: I accept Jesus into MY heart so that I can go to HEAVEN. For many people with this viewpoint the main focus tends to be on this life here on earth with a perspective of Heaven as merely a “happy ending to this life”.
This is a self/man centered view of salvation. It is the type of think that causes people to fall into the snare of prosperity gospels. it causes us to compare ourselves to others and buy into the lie that we aren’t good enough. It causes us, when we experience trial, to think that God is angry with us or has forsaken us. A lie that is especially untrue for those that are His.
Biblical approach to salvation: God changes my sinful heart so that I can love and trust Jesus, become more like Him, and be in His presence forever! Heaven is intentionally not mentioned. We do receive Heaven since we inherit the kingdom of God. But heaven comes with Jesus not the other way around! We need to know what the real treasure is.
Summary: Salvation is not primarily about us. The goal of salvation is not heaven, though it is promised to us. The goal of salvation is not an easier life, though it makes a life full of hardship bearable. The goal of salvation isn’t to fit into a club of people who seem to have it all together, though we do gain a new identity as a child of God among His church.
The goal of salvation is Jesus Christ and Him forever. We have to understand that heaven in all of its splendor holds no value if Jesus isn’t there. If we embrace that truth from Gods word then our entire worldview changes fundamentally and we begin to live our lives for His glory as we set our minds on the things above where Christ is.
Creeper van took off before warm-o-rama. Never the same without him/her/it.
It was awesome having Handsy, Bottomless, and Fleabag at the Morg this Gloom. Hope you guys got smoked. Looking forward to having you back!
None were made but should’ve mentioned the following:
- O Positive on Q at the Morg Moday the 21st. go on ahead and HC. Dat dude don’t play around.
- 2.0 workout at the Mothership Sunday the 20th.
- Pay attention to F3 Memphis Ruck Club. Lots of great events coming up soon with great opportunities to prepare for Growruck. BTW start HCing for Growruck.