May 7, 2018

Old Forest Mosey

THE SCENE: ~61* – toasty and WAY too bright for F3. 

To be totally honest, YHC arrived at the AO with a lot of anxiety. The last OF backblast I read was called “Dodging Snakes” or something, and people said they saw copperheads on the trail that I was planning to use. YHC doesn’t mess with snakes. The ruckers were unloading their burdens when I got out of my car. I tried desperately to get information out of them (trying to not sound desperate). They hadn’t seen any. Blart added, “But it was dark.” Thanks for that! So, I resolved to lead the PAX on a run, come what may. Truthfully, I didn’t know what I would do if I saw one. 

While I tried to conceal my genuine concern, Teacher’s Pet said there was someone sleeping in the pavilion, in case I was planning on using it (this is not uncommon in the Old Forest – using the pavilion or people sleeping in it). I wasn’t, so we commenced mumblechatter while we waited for the clock to strike 0530.

At 0528, Bottomless appeared out of nowhere and said he’d been asleep in the pavilion! I never got the whole story; he may have actually slept there all night. 

Also emerging from his car at 0528, to a chorus of ooh’s and ah’s – Sir Mix-a-Lot was on time!

PAX: Blart, Bottomless, Bookworm, Browns, Cargo, Chauffeur (FNG), Crayfish, Ergo, Father Abraham, Four Eyes, Goldilocks, Handsy, Meatball, MmmBop, Pirtle, Sir Mix-a-Lot, Teacher’s Pet, Soybean (QIC)

F3 WELCOME & DISCLAIMER: shouted over the PAX, who were barely listening

SSH x20; Windmill x10; Daisy Picker x15; IW x15; Hillbilly x15

The PAX grabbed Old Glory and we set off for the Shell. We stopped once for OHCs and a second time for Smurf Jacks. 

Once we reached the Shell, did 11s. Starting with 10 merkins at the bottom, then run backwards up the hill, do 1 smurf jack, and run back down. Then 9 merkins + 2 smurf jacks, all the way to 1 merkin + 10 smurf jacks. Four Eyes called our plank variants while we waited for everyone to finish. 

Blart grabbed the flag and we started on our journey back (the long way, obviously). We stopped for squats and planks on the way back. After our last stop, YHC told the PAX we were going back to the start point, and that when I yelled “jailbreak,” we’d all sprint. This seemed like a fun idea. Four Eyes and Crayfish took a secret high road and started running back at a runner’s pace. They were still within earshot, so I told them to call merkins IC when they got back (suckers!). Once the parking lot was in sight, I yelled, “Jailbreak.” But alas! We were still a good ways off! My legs were pumping, but it wasn’t long before the other runners started passing me. I thought I was going to splash from all the wind I was sucking. Everybody was getting after it. 

By the time I got to the lot and circled up, they were on the 5th 4-count merkin. We went up to 10 or 15 and I called it. Then we did some mountain climbers while we waited on the six. 

After a long run like that, and with a couple minutes left before Mary, we did the only natural thing left to do – sprints. “But you said ‘give it all you got’ a minute ago!” Yep. PAX lined up in the parking lot, sprinted ~40 yards, took a short breather, sprinted back. Finally, it was time for Mary. 

Flutter kicks w/hands in the air x10; Flutter kicks x15; WW1 Sit-ups x20; Hollywood Side Crunches x10 each side

18, including 1 FNG

YHC read from Proverbs 7 about the foolish youth who seemed to be out looking for trouble with the adultress. We’re prone to the same foolishness – visiting website we know will lead us down the wrong path or having increasingly intimate conversations with women who aren’t our SO’s. Affairs and pornography binges don’t happen in an instant. They’re the results of foolish choices we make. Stay alert, and lean on your brothers!

Prayers for Father Abraham (graduating Warrior Center), Goldilocks (nursing school tests), and everyone affected by C-130 crash in Savannah, GA. I’m definitely forgetting something else.

In the end, I think we got about 2.4 miles in, with no snakes. It was great seeing Cargo, and he was a champ carrying the flag for the first leg. Shout-out to Blart for taking the flag on the second leg. MmmBop had on a killer USA tank top, but looked sad all morning. Maybe it was all the running. Kotters to Ergo!