Oh Crap, Choker Brought His Bluetooth…
THE SCENE: I rolled up at the Morg at 0440 ready for some early #Ruckership. As I pulled into the entrance, I saw some flashing blue lights in the back lot where we gather. I immediately pulled up my GPS thinking I’d accidentally driven to the
Annex Turd. But it turns out it was just a couple of mobile spotlights left over from the Bartlett Festival this past weekend.
F3 WELCOME & DISCLAIMER:
Welcomed and disclaimed.
SSH x20 (10 IC and 10 silent)
–Burpees x10 OYO because Jasmine can’t count.
Monthly Quiz time! PAX were instructed that each remaining warmup exercise would be another set of burpees x10 OYO, but that normal warmup exercises could be purchased by knowing F3 trivia.
1. What is the mission of F3? Answered correctly by Granola: To plant, grow, and serve small workout groups for the invigoration of male community leadership. Daisy Pickers x15 IC.
2. Name one of the core principles of F3. Answered correctly by Bruce: Free of charge. Windmills x15 IC.
3. Name another core principle of F3. Answered correctly by Sleep Number: Ends in a Circle of Trust. Imperial Walkers x15 IC.
4. Name another core principle of F3. Answered correctly by Woodpecker: Held outdoors, rain or shine, hot or cold. Hillbillys x15 IC.
5. Name another core principle of F3. Answered correctly by Zima: Led by the PAX on a rotating basis. Arm Circles (forward) x10 IC.
6. Name the final core principle of F3. Answered correctly by Bootheel: Open to all men. Arm Circles (reverse) x10 IC.
Jukebox of Pain
Using the Exicon and Google Play, I created a playlist of terrible music and horrible ideas. Each song selection cost a quarter.
Selection 1: Bearway to Heaven. Cost: 25 SSH.
Seven cones were set out with two parking spaces between each one. While listening to “Stairway to Heaven” by Led Zeppelin the PAX bear crawled to the first cone and back, then performed 7 burpees. Then bear crawled to the 2nd cone and back, 6 burpees, and so on. Time expired before anyone made it to the 7th cone.
Selection 2: Bring Sally Up. Cost: 25 Overhead Claps.
While listening to “Flower” by Moby, the PAX held a squat; when Moby said “Bring Sally Up”, we stood up, and when he said “Bring Sally Down” we went back down.
Selection 3: Chumbaburpee. Cost: 25 BBSU.
While listening to “Tubthumping” by Chumbawamba, we did SSH. Whenever they said “I get knocked down, but I get up again” we performed a burpee.
Selection 4: Cupid Shuffle. Cost: 25 Jane Fondas.
While listening to the song “Cupid Shuffle” by Cupid, we held plank and followed the commands of the song (“right”=right leg out, “left”=left leg out, “kick”=kick, and “walk”=mountain climbers). The difficulty of this selection was increased exponentially by having to listen to it.
Selection 5: Proud Mary. Cost: 25 SSH.
While listening to “Proud Mary” by CCR, we performed BBSU. When we got to “Rolling” we switched to Gas Pumps, and then after “Rolling” switched to Flutter Kicks. At the next “Rolling” we went back to Gas Pumps, and then back to BBSU. Rinse and repeat for the remainder of the song.
Selection 6: Thunderstruck. Cost: 25 Overhead Claps.
While listening to “Thunderstruck” by AC/DC, we held plank. Whenever we heard the word “Thunder”, we performed a Merkin. By this point the pavement was drenched with a noxious mix of sweat and tears.
COUNT-OFF & NAME-O-RAMA
11 PAX: Bootheel, Bruce, Choker (QIC), Granola, Jasmine, Mr. Wonderful, Orange Julius, Sleep Number, Wall Builder, Woodpecker, Zima
CIRCLE OF TRUST/BOM:
Last week 52 PAX gathered for GrowRuck 12. In the weeks/months leading up to the event, we heard countless stories from PAX who had attended GrowRuck 05 last year about how important it is to focus on your brothers and not yourself. Within the first hour of the event I discovered that I had learned that lesson in my brain, but not yet in my heart.
One of the first things we did in the event was ground our rucks and run to a volleyball pit about 100 yards away. While we were doing that, the cadre threw all our rucks into a giant pile. There was no time to find your own ruck – you had to just grab one and get back in formation. After a couple of iterations of that, we were winded and worrying about getting our own gear back.
The next activity was to circle up and do 100 squats with rucks pressed over our heads. We did them 10 at a time, with a short break in between sets. During that break, it was a mad scramble to figure out who had your ruck and exchange them. I kept scanning the circle but my oxygen-deprived brain could not recognize it. I started shouting out “BLACK MULTICAM! WHO HAS MY BLACK MULTICAM?” About the same time I heard Lazarus shouting out “BLACK RUCKER WITH GROWRUCK PATCH!” We spent a couple of rounds trying to out-shout each other, with neither of us getting an answer. Inside I was thinking “Shut up Lazarus, nobody is going to be able to hear my shout!” I was getting irritated and starting to panic a bit.
Then, a sinking feeling hit me. I realized that my focus was on myself. I looked own at the ruck I was holding, and sure enough it was a black rucker with a GrowRuck patch. I was so wrapped up in taking care of myself that I was trying to shout over Lazarus instead of answer his call and help him find his. At the next break I took it to him, and as I handed it over he pointed to someone a couple of feet away and said “Hey, isn’t that one yours?”
When I changed my focus off of myself and helped my brother, it allowed him to help me. That was my charge to the PAX this morning- get out of your own head and help someone else who needs it. Take care of your brothers; the Sky Q will take care of you.
It’s pretty awesome when you pick an exercise out of the Exicon only to find out it was created and submitted by one of our own Memphis PAX. Shout out to Bruce for inventing Proud Mary! Now I’m going to need someone to come up with a decent routine to some Rush songs so I never have to hear selections 2, 3, and 4 ever again.
Be thankful we didn’t have time for “Roxanne” or “Bodies on the Floor”.
GrowRuck was last week. I think there’s still time to register.
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