July 4, 2018

Independence Day Convergence 2018

Date: 07/04/2018
AO: The Mothership
QIC: Soybean and Phat Pat #BeansandMe2018 #TheSagaContinues
PAX: Father Abraham, Beauty Shop, Billy Blanks, Blart, Bootheel, Bottomless, Cheesesteak, Choker, Costello, Ergo, Four Eyes, Geppetto, Gonzo, Handsy, Hitch, Jasmine, Lil Nicky, Lipton, Moneybags, Nature Boy, Orange Julius, Pops, Shoestring, Slim Shady, Soulja Boy, Snookie, Snowman, Swingline (Johnson City), Monk (RESPECT, Gastonia), Soybean (QIC), Phat Pat (QIC) | FNGs: Walk-On, Calamine, Safe Space

THE SCENE: The PAX wanted a convergence, so we gave it to them. It was already hot and sticky at 0600. PhP drove up right on the time he said he would for us to complete our weinke (more or less).

Beans looking fly in his top-to-bottom USA attire. Shovel Flags planted. Coupons gathered. The smell of freedom’s spark tinged the air and exploded into a full-blown baseball diamond on a farm field (with a preacher’s daughter carrying a pitcher of sweet iced tea and warm apple pie past a John Deere Tractor) when Nature Boy and (the eventual) Walk-on rode in hot on the parking lot with the napalm – windows down and flags flying – just before BC.

‘Merica.

F3 WELCOME & DISCLAIMER: Carried out dutifully and accurately by @thephattestpat

WARM-O-RAMA:

242 years since history’s greatest document was signed, so we did 242 reps to celebrate.
50 SSH IC
10 burpees OYO
50 Mtn Climbers IC
10 burpees OYO
50 SHH IC
10 burpees OYO
50 Mtn Climbers IC
12 burpees OYO

Next up, YHC drew inspiration from this blog post at The Art of Manliness and used the “Step on Toes” routine, only we called it “Don’t Tread on Me!” PAX paired up and faced each other. Staying within a single parking space, each partner tried to step on the other’s feet. Once someone was successful, each partner did 5 merkins, got up, and started again. We did this for about 4 minutes.

YOHC (Your Other Humble Correspondent) was left behind by YHC above as the third wheel to Hitch and Shoestring’s toe tapping giggle game of glee… until Gonzo showed up and saved me! He was the 34th PAX on the day, and a happy sight for jealous eyes.

THA-THANG:

13s – Mosey to steep hill on west end of parking lot. Commemorated the original 13 colonies with 4-count flutter kicks and smurf jacks (aka Little Man in the Woods). Start with a single FK at the bottom, get on up the hill, 12 smurf jacks at the top, get back down the hill, 2 FKs, etc. Reps should add up to 13 each time. Four Eyes led the speedsters in some extra credit work at the top of the hill, then we all did the last round together for the guys who were lagging. Mosey back up to parking lot.

Undefeated Circuit – For being 2-0 in the World Wars, 3-0 if you count the tail whooping we gave to England, a world power in her own right at the time.
-Merkin Revolution (aka Wheel of Merkin) – PAX lined up and got their own parking curb. 20 incline merkins with both hands on curb. Rotate 90 degrees and do 20 offset merkins with right hand on curb. Rotate 90 deg for 20 derkins. Rotate 90 deg for 20 offset merkins with left hand on curb. This is hard in the best way, an Equalizer of HIM. No one was not struggling (except PhP).
-VICTORY LAP around the lot with hands in the air in celebration. This actually burns much more than you’d think it would. More than it should, even. But World Wars don’t come around often (thankfully, for the rest of the world), so not as much practice for this one.
-WWI Sit-ups IC x30
-WWII Sit-ups IC x30 (Phat Pat reminded the PAX that some extra cushion on your booty makes doing sit-ups on asphalt less terrible. The skinny PAX were all crying. If you ain’t fat, that’s your fault!)
-ViCTORY LAP (arms up)
-Donald Pumps (CMU curls) IC x50
-Loooong VICTORY LAP around the Kitchen (arms down)

MARY:

Hello Dolly IC x20
Dying Cockroach IC x15
ABCs IC (led by Shoestring)
Nazi Punches (aka Nolan Ryan) OYO – 25 one side, 26 next side to celebrate all 51 states

COUNT-OFF & NAME-O-RAMA
34 PAX, 3 FNGs, 2 Willy Lomans

CIRCLE OF TRUST/BOM:
I am a Christian. F3 is not specifically Christian, but open to all faiths. America is not uniquely Christian. God’s church and the gospel can flourish under any culture, any regime, any political system, or country. HOWEVER, I am thankful to God to live in a land that affords me the freedom and opportunities that it does.

When YOHC participates in politics on any level, from voting to advocating to debating, my goal is to honor the Second Greatest Commandment, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” YOHC exhorted the PAX to consider this and filter their politics (whatever they may be) and love of country through the lens of loving God and loving others.

MOLESKIN:
After the workout, the PAX enjoyed apply pie served in styrofoam cups and tiny bottles of gatorade. It tasted like freedom!

Hitch keeps an American flag hat in his vehicle for emergencies. Handsy gave seven explanations for his name during the workout. None of them were accurate. FNG Walk-On “just so happened” to show up in our parking lot with a USA tank top and an American flag flying from his Wrangler. Bootheel got after it (like always), and Billy Blanks did an awesome job watching the Six.

YOHC thinks that F3 has made Beans at least slightly more patriotic, whether or not he would admit as much. Don’t be fooled ladies, Safe Space is a BAAAAAAAD MAN! If he had a beard, he could become the envy of every man (we all have room for improvement). Choker with a well timed, “It’s the most luxurious pump you’ve ever pumped.” And another T-Claps to Beans! YOHC could not have Q’d that on his own (hips don’t lie… neither does +10 lbs in 8 weeks).

ANNOUNCEMENTS:
GrowRuck is coming up in September. Register now!
Last week of 1 John Study was TODAY! 4I’s gonna give it rest for a month and starting something else afterwards. Blow up his DM’s with your opinions.