April 27, 2018

Grand Ole Merkins

THE SCENE:  The Annex, The Turd, WarDova, The Dirty Dova…and this morning, reminiscent of The Grand Ole Opry. Absolutely perfect morning in the gloom. 50 degrees, hazy fog illuminated by the rising sun.


PAX were saved by the bell as Slots peeled into the parking lot at 0529:45 with his shovel flag in tow. QIC had gotten “penalty burp…” out of his mouth when he saw the AOQ coming to the rescue. PAX breathed a sigh of relief.

SSH IC x 20
Windmills IC x 20
Little Arm Circles Forward IC x15 and backward IC x15

A simple, classic American beatdown was in store for the men of Cordova this morning. There’s nothing more ‘Merican than Merkins, Squats, Lunges, American Hammers and a little moseying. And that’s exactly what was in store this morning. There’s also nothing more ‘Merican than Charley Pride, Waylon Jennings, Willie Nelson and Merle Haggard. Those fine American troubadours provided the soundtrack for pain as PAX repped out a simple yet effective merkin circuit.

  • 40 Merkins
  • 40 squats
  • Lunge walk 40 yards
  • 100 yard sprint to cones then 140 yard sprint back to start point
  • 25-35 American Hammers to finish each round depending upon how benevolent QIC was feeling at the moment

5 rounds completed. Variations to merkins each round (Standard, Wide Arm, Diamond, Seal, and Merkins with a Clap to finish off the morning). Midway through merkins with clap the “If you can’t do it, you can’t Q it” policy was enforced and QIC encouraged PAX to modify as needed after ~20 claps.

10 bodybuilders to wrap up.

Flutter kicks, Jane Fondas, some torturous nonsense called “Red Light, Yellow Light, Green Light” by Slots that had all PAX begging for mercy….and a final round of American Hammers to finish up.

9 PAX (0 FNG); Backseat, Slots, Orange Julius, Sleep Number, No Fuego, Jasmine, Rabbit, Epcot, Speedy

YHC shared with PAX about the value of a day. Each day may only be 24 hours, and some may seem expendable, but every day has a price. We have to strive to bring value and meaning to each day because of that price – when you go to bed every night, you’ve traded a day of your life you’ll never get back for whatever will be left in its place. If the day was void, you paid a price and got nothing in return. That’s a poor investment and not a day worthy or befitting a HIM. Days become months, and months become years. Find a way to glorify God and bless someone else today!

It was an honor leading the men of the Annex this morning. I’ve posted here a few times, but honestly not enough. It’s an awesome AO with awesome guys. There was talk in advance that these hardened men were impervious to the effects of American Hammers. After putting them through the paces, I believe it. Well done. It was also an honor to share real country music with these men – not the hick hop some of our Millennial brothers are likely accustomed to or have confused with country in the past. Trust me when I say there’s nothing as gratifying as hearing the combined sound of groaning, gloom horns and Ronnie Milsap singing Smokey Mountain Rain as the sun rises over the Turd.

At one point, Jasmine asked “are we in Bass Pro shop or something?” regarding the playlist selection. QIC informed PAX that any more negative grumbling about these fine ballads would result in penalty burpees. PAX buttoned things up quickly and even began to appreciate the twang, methinks.

However, a request for Rascal Flatts was later made. QIC was burdened in his spirit by such an inquiry.

BrewRuck coming up this Saturday and KotB on Monday/Tuesday. PAX were encouraged to post at the Lair Monday if possible to join Bruce in his memorial workout honoring his brother, Eli. If you can’t be at the Lair, *post somewhere*! Just post.