Coupon Fest (9/18/19)

THE SCENE: A not-so-muggy Wed morning at OldForest

SSH, Daisy Pickers, Imperial Walkers, HillBillies, Windmills followed by short mosey around the North OF asphalt sidewalk
Paired up and each pair grabbed a CMU

Completed following set of exercises Dora style, with one partner on task while other partner moseyed around North OF asphalt sidewalk

  • Blockies (aka Burpee Thruster, Burpee w/CMU) x 100
  • Coupon Swings (like a kettle bell swing but with CMU/coupon) x 100
  • Coupon Squat (air squat while hold CMU/coupon) x 100
  • Coupon Jump (box jump with CMU/coupon as the box) x 100

Followed by “Catch Me If You Can”–one partner moseys with CMU/coupon while other partner does WW2 sit-ups x5 then catches up to other partner and they switch tasks.  Continues until pair complete 1x around sidewalk

LBCs x25, Boat/Canoe, Freddy Mercury x 20, American Hammers x20
22 PAX (no FNGs): Dewey, Altar Boy, Handsy, Upgrade, Toaster, Bottomless, Goose, Easily Amused, One and Done, Mudslide, Four Eyes, Crayfish, Chioccetti, Teacher’s Pet, Thibodaux, Pirtle, MIB, Lodge, Kingpin, Barnum, Frisky, Doc Hollywood

Romans 12:1 “I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God–this is your spiritual act of worship.”  My boy Dewey forecasted us being “taken to the slaughter” this morning for the workout, which reminded me of this verse.  Our lives should be lived as sacrifices to God…not to earn his love, or his forgiveness, or his favor, BUT because He has already loved us and given us forgiveness through Jesus.  This gives us the freedom and the motivation to live lives that please Him.


There’s a Reason Tony Hawk Doesn’t Play Golf

The Gloom is getting darker and cooler.  Fall is the best time of the year, and I’m looking forward to both weeks of it here in Memphis.  Mr. Wolf jogged by as I was planting the Shovel Flag.  We exchanged pleasantries; nobody was accused of condescension or bigotry, so we’ll call that a win.

Full version for the first 3.  Brief version for Tremor after he rolled up during the SSH.  Nonexistent version for Speedy after he rolled up 5 minutes before the end of the workout.

SSH x20 IC
Daisy Pickers x15 IC
Hillbillies x16 IC
Arm Circles x10 IC (each direction)

F3 Golf: a series of 5 minute sets, with 1 minute of rest in between.  Each set consisted of 2 exercises. The PAX would perform 12 reps of each exercise OYO, then 11 reps of each OYO, and so on until 5 minutes expired.  At the end of each round, each person’s score would be the lowest number of reps that were successfully completed for both exercises.  For example, if time expired while you were still working on 4 reps of exercise 2, your score for that round would be 5.  Lowest score at the end of the Thang wins.

Set 1:  Merkins/BBSU.  Winners: 3 tied with 1 point
Set 2: SSH/Flutter Kicks.  Winners: Gomer (1)
Set 3: Tony Hawk Burpees*/WWI Situps.  Winners: Gomer and Tremor (10)
Set 4: Mountain Climbers/Squats.  Winners: 3 tied with (1)
Set 5: Werkins/Monkey Humpers.  Winners: 3 tied with (1)
Set 6: Carolina Dry Docks/LBCs.  Winners: 2 tied with (7)

*I can’t let a Turd Q go by without incorporating Tony Hawk in some way.  He puts the T in Turd.

Final Scores:
Tremor and Gomer: 22
Choker: 26
Gun Show: 41
DHL: 50
Speedy: 8 (for the one round he actually showed up for)

Flutter Kicks x35 IC

6 PAX:  Choker (QIC), DHL, Gomer, Gun Show, Speedy, Tremor

For the CoT I had planned to heap some praise on Speedy.   But then he RUINED EVERYTHING by fartsacking 95% of my Q.  Oh well, too late to come up with something else.

Somehow, Speedy came up with this crazy idea to get everyone hooked on post-workout bananas.  Once this was in full effect, he had a bananaized version of the Gadsden Flag created and has been posting it at the Turd every since.  Being a part of Memphis, the flag comes with a set of its own #MemphisRules.  There are a number of different goals/challenges for the PAX to complete, and upon completion of each one that person gets to sign the Nanner Flag.  Whoever has signed it the most by the end of the year gets to keep it.

This is such a great idea.  It’s silly.  It’s fun.  But it serves a very serious purpose.  It has given the AO a distinct personality.  It encourages regular attendance.  It incentivizes volunteering to Q.  It drives PAX to get involved with all of the regional challenges/CSAUPs/etc.  Stuff like that is what I think of when I think of F3.

Speedy is a top-drawer AOQ and we’re lucky to have him.  When he remembers to set his alarm, that is.

Tony Hawk makes everything better.  And by better, I mean much, much worse.

Sign up for Shield Lock.  Then sign up to help #PlantTupelo.  

Barracks Miles for Breakfast (VQ)

THE SCENE: Somewhere between soupy and pleasant. Shared the track with ROTC groups.

  • SSH x30 IC
  • Arm Circles (F&B) x20 IC
  • Inchworm x5 OYO
  • IW x15 IC
  • 400m warmup mosey


  • Merkin Mile:
    • 4x400m with 25 merkins following each lap
      • Last two laps faster than first two
      • Hold plank after final 400 until all in
  • “Pull Up” Mile:
      • 4x400m with 5 pull ups and 20 squats following each lap
        • Last two laps faster than first two
        • Hold plank after final 400 until all in
  • Strides:
      • 2 laps (800 meters total)
        • “Stride” 100m straightaways at mile race pace (ease in for first 5 seconds, ease back down for last 5 seconds)
        • Jog 100m between straightaways for recovery
        • Focus on form during each stride

Ran a tad bit short on time. Abbreviated Mary:

  • Low Plank x30 OYO
  • LBC x30 OYO

12 PAX present: Upgrade, Altar Boy, Park Bench, COBOL, Four Eyes, Pop Tart, MIB, Chioccetti, Squeegee, Doc Hollywood, Easily Amused, Peekaboo


Word to focus on today: Discipline

    • Definition:
      • Control gained by enforcing obedience or order
      • Orderly or prescribed conduct or pattern of behavior
      • Self-Control
    • According to Jocko Willink (decorated SEALS commander, Motivator, Speaker, Author) Discipline equals Freedom. Check out his podcast.
      • The only way to get to a place of freedom is via discipline.
      • If you want financial freedom, you have to have financial discipline. In order to have more free time, you have to follow a more disciplined time management system. You also have to have the discipline to say “No” to things like clickbait on social media, procrastination, unhealthy food, negativity, wastefulness, too much coffee, etc.
    • 2 Timothy 1:7 For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.
    • Encouraged the PAX to think about how this can by applied in their lives today. Whether it be with food self-control, spiritual growth, at work, with finances, child raising, etc. I know I have a need for more discipline in all of these areas.

Learned a lot by VQing. Great support and suggestions from the PAX.

Gaisman Running

THE SCENE: Incredibly, it’s still hot.

Side Straddle Hop IC x41
Imperial Walkers IC x30
Hillbillies IC x30
Slow Windmills IC x15

Modified Merkin Mile.  Gaisman Park track is 0.75 miles for one loop.  We did:

  • Run 1 loop then OYO x25 Merkins
  • Run 1 loop then OYO x25 Squats
  • Run 1 loop then OYO x25 Big Boy Situps

Then run back to parking lot.  Did out-and-back suicide x2 each but one at a time.

PAX choice:
Shoestring – American Hammer x30
Toms – Slow Freddy Mercury x30

YHC – x20 Little Baby Crunches

4 PAX (1 IG) – Park Bench, Bookworm, Toms, Shoestring.
Reading from Marcus Aurelius Meditations – seek after your life’s purpose like you seek after food or sleep.

Homie’s Last Stand


THE SCENE:  80 F and Stanky
All PAX were welcomed and Disclaimed
PAX were instructed to form lines military style.  Time hack 15 seconds.  PAX did not complete the task in the allotted 10 seconds so 10 penalty burpees were issued
Merkins IC X 10
Daisy Pickers IC X 15
Lunges IC X 10 Both Legs
Apollo Ono’s IC X 5 -(SMH no one apparently watches dancing with the stars) (Neither does QIC)
Arm Circles IC X 10 Front and Back
Partner climb Merkins – Partners in a T formation both do 1 Merkin in-Sync Partner 1 Climbs up on back of Partner 2 and then returns to plank.  Perform 10 OYO then switch.

Mosey Military March is our transportation for today.  Two lines side by side marching together like in the movies.  Rabbit led the cadence and apparently has 2 Left rabbit foots (Lucky guy).  
March to the Sk8 park 
QIC instructed PAX to stop 1/2 way to Sk8 park and perform 20 dips on rollers OYO followed by 20 incline Merkins on rollers.

Reform lines and continue to Sk8 park.

At Sk8 park the PAX was enlightened by QIC to get a little Levee history and shout outs to Captain Obvious (aka Benedick Arnold) and Halpert for their leadership over the last 2 years. 

Partners were split:
Partner 1 – Levee OG from Gus – Bear Balls to the wall going right.
Partner 2 – Box jumps
Switch when Partner 1 returns 

Round 2
Partner 1 – Bear Balls to the Wall going left
Partner 2 – Box jumps

Reform lines and head to the softball first base line.

Round 1 – All Pax together –
Army Crawl to second base
Crab Crawl to Third base – (Homie’s first time to make it to third base 🙂
Return to first base line by crossing home plate

Round 2 – 
Partner carry to 2nd base 
Switch and Partner carry to 3rd base 
Return to first base line by crossing home plate

Round 3 
Partner Wheel barrow to 2nd base
Switch to 3rd base

Head to Flag

Gas Pumpers IC X 20
Jane Fondas IC X 10 both legs
Freddie Mercurys IC 20

12 PAX (1 FNG Gas Mask)

We send off Homie to the Army (Sunday) to serve this great country.  QIC encouraged Homie and the PAX to Lead with you head up.  This came from Judges 7 – Gideon is instructed by GOD to go fight against a massive army with 3000 men then he was instructed to only take 300.  God chose the men that drank with their heads up.  God has chosen you to lead.  It is your decision whether to lead with your head up or down.  God will use those that have their head up (Pray, Read God’s word, fellowship with other believers).

Also, before you lead put on the full Armor of God so that you can withstand the enemy.  Pray Ephesians 6:10-18 over yourself and your family.  

F3 Memphis is honored to have former military, current military, and soon to be military serving our country.  QIC is thankful for your service.  We will continue to pray for you Homie.

901 FC Saturday night – please purchase your tickets here


    • Hump-Day Grump-Day.

    • Particularly the “led by men who participate in the workout in a rotating fashion.”

    • I had an undisclosed, but #VeryFair total rep count in mind (under 7 burpees/minute!).
    • The workout would end once ALL PAX performed AND counted ALL reps TOGETHER in cadence, or by 0615–whichever comes first.
    • Naturally, infractions reset the rep count to 0. A few times…
    • Final count: 173 burpees.

    • Pre-ruck: (1.5 PAX) BAM! & Cujo
    • Bootcamp: (12 PAX, 0 FNGs) Bootheel, Carport, Choker, Esquire, Flobee, Granola, Gym Shorts, O’Reily, Orange Julius, Sleep Number, Wall Builder, Woodpecker

    • Somehow, burpees have garnered a dreadful reputation. I’m sure at some point, every PAX has worried that one day, some idiot would try to Q 45 minutes of burpees. Personally, I prefer burpees to coffeeteria. I find exercise to be more comfortable than socializing (one of my many anxieties).

      Speaking of anxiety, I’ve been trying to help one of my kiddos learn how to navigate some phobias, which I define as an irrational fear that interferes with mundane activities. There is a huge difference between a natural disdain for illness and a paranoid avoidance of crowds–between a fear of skydiving and a fear of escalators. 

      I myself am incredibly needle-phobic. I know it’s a completely irrational fear, but needles still drive me crazy. I hate how often I let fear make decisions on my behalf. That’s why I try to get my blood taken as often as possible. It is always a terrible and humiliating experience, but I’d like to think that each time I choose to confront this fear, I weaken its power and influence in my life.

    • Mumblechatter was strong this morning. Ample disdain and threats of personal harm. I haven’t felt this much animosity since I handed back a bunch of marked up, sub-par papers to a class of undergraduate seniors. I’m very much looking forward to Sleep Number’s next Q.
    • Things could have gone far worse had Carport not been on top of the count. 
    • I wasn’t sure how this morning would go after yesterday’s Iron PAX challenge. Turns out, pretty terrible, but once we got over the hump it wasn’t so bad.
    • Some PAX struggled. Some PAX breezed through it. No man left behind. No man where we found him.
    • We had a lurker who watched us for a few minutes and then drove off. Cool. Cool.
    • I wasn’t sure if disclosing the target rep count would be more or less motivating. Maybe next time I’ll state the target.

Mario Kart – Slam Ball Circuit


Hot and shockingly clear. The moon was bright, the stars were out. @WannaCry joined me at 0450 for a preruck and to set up the race track


Push yourself. Don’t hurt yourself.


  • 25 x SSH
  • 20 x Tempo Squat
  • 25 x SSH
  • 20 x Tempo Merkin

Mosey to start of track

Inspired by Mario Kart, we did a three lap circuit around a 1/4 mile track.

Lap 1

  • Bearcrawl 100m
  • Do one slam ball with a 50 pound ball
  • Side shuffle 100m
  • Do one slam ball with a 50 pound ball
  • Broad jump 100m
  • Do one slam ball with a 50 pound ball
  • Sprint 100m
  • Do one slam ball with a 50 pound ball

Lap 2

  • Bearcrawl 100m
  • Do one slam ball with a 50 pound ball
  • Power Skip 100m
  • Do one slam ball with a 50 pound ball
  • Lunge Walk 100m
  • Do one slam ball with a 50 pound ball
  • Sprint 100m
  • Do one slam ball with a 50 pound ball

Lap 3 (Speed Lap)

  • Sprint 100m
  • Do two slam ball with a 50 pound ball
  • Sprint 100m
  • Do two slam ball with a 50 pound ball
  • Sprint 100m
  • Do one slam ball with a 50 pound ball
  • Sprint 100m
  • Do two slam ball with a 50 pound ball


Round 1

  • Circle up on 6 with back to center.
  • Lean back into active position to engage abs.
  • Pass four 50 pound slam ball to left or right at Q’s call
  • Add overhead press with ball

Round 2

  • Series of planks for 4 minutes. Low, high, right arm, left arm, cycle.

9 PAX. WannaCry joined separately for PreRuck.

Shoestring, Speedy, Gun Show, Gomer, Tremor, Chyna, Couch Potato, DHL, Chuck E. Cheese (QIC)

Sign up for Shield Lock. Accountability is a powerful good.

Prayers were said in confidence. Continue to lift up if you were there.


  • Crucible on Oct. 26
  • Read Slack Announcements

Winter had better be Coming at the Annex

THE SCENE:  The hottest, thickest dang morning ever. IIRC, the hottest day of the year to this point. If you or any of your loved ones know the wherabouts of the stupid wind, contact Robert Stack immediately.

F3 WELCOME & DISCLAIMER: Not shouted because Gun Show was afraid of my Dad voice. Delivered to Sonic a little later

SSH IC x 20 (because we have rules)
Arm Circles IC x20 Fwd, x20 Rev
Daisy Pickers IC x 20
Imperial Walkers IC x 20
Windmills IC x20

We mosey over to the east side of the parking lot near the 400m/quarter mile loop for the Sword Coast Relay. I had orginially planned on doing the Relay race that I did at the Morg, Marc Cohn style – in the middle of the pourin’ rain.  But I think I needed about 8 PAX total for that to work, so I defaulted to an older game.

The Game:

  • PAX Circle up and remember their spot in the order. We start with Gomer and go around the circle.
  • PAX #1 rolls a 12-sided Exercise die (I found the good one. Miss me with that yoga die). He then runs clockwise around the loop, bearing THE BATON (Which was a NERF Sword. NERF OR NOTHING!).
  • PAX do the exercise the die winds up being. Difficulty ranges from “Water Break” to “20 Burpees”.
  • Once All In, PAX #2 rolls and runs Counter Clockwise, getting the sword from the previous PAX.
  • Once All In, PAX #3 rolls and runs Clockwise, getting the sword from the previous PAX, and so on…
  • After you hand off the sword, finish your loop and return to the circle and recover until the next roll.

No Rerolling this morning (except when I got tired of side planks and made an executive decision). Also, as people keep trying to tell me, fall is at hand, so the sun rises later, so the loop was super scurry and dark. To help the brave pax navigate the treacherous running paths of Ye Olde Cordova, I taped a flashlight to the hilt of THE BATON. Gun show immediately noted it was a lightsaber now! Is this what it’s like to be out-nerded? I don’t like it! 42! CUCUMBERS ARE FRUITS! g=9.81m/s^2! There. Better. Good eye Gun Show. Proud of ye you temporary AOQICHIM.

B-B-But what of the PAX that are running in the dark without the lightsaber? That’s what the disclaimer is for.

5 of the 6 PAX in attendance already knew this game and DHL learned the rules at next-day-air speed! T-Claps Sir! Everything went smooth, no shenanigans, so clearly the problem last time was Speedy and Grimace, as usual. Sonic and Tremor always impress me by finding ways to fit in extra reps, joining in the exercise when they finished their lap instead of recovering.

Gomer Dropped the Sword at one point, resulting in…Nothing. Didn’t have a rule for that.. Next time, Gomer…next time. Back at the ranch the Die just kept landing on Tuck Jumps, side planks, and jump lunges, so the core and legs got some good work that morning.

At about 6AM, Sonic Irish Goodbye’d to get to school. Go bench press some kids, you hoodied beast.

About 24 die rolls were made, but not a single water break. The probability of such a thing is approximately…whack. Oh well. On to Mary

Flutterkicks IC x 10
4-count LBCs IC x 10
American Hammers IC x 10
4-count BBSU IC x 10

Gomer, Tremor, Sonic, DHL, Gun Show (Acting AOQ),  Roomba (QIC)

I had my first sermon to preach the weekend after this, so I gave the 45-second version: Just because you are technically allowed to do something with impunity, doesn’t mean you can be obnoxious about it. Whatever your faith, or creed, or vocation is, you should make it as approachable as possible, because stumbling blocks will make it harder for others to come to you and what you’re doing.

Prayers for DHL’s job search, for traveling PAX, and family health.

Gonna need to get some headlamps from the Hazard Frought – I mean…Harbor Freight if I’m gonna encourage more running. I think everyone would be fine, but I’d feel much better. Of course, the sun may rise later, but It’s still hot and thick as anything. GAWD, I am tired of summer and it’s death grip on September. Be Gone! Gun Show done good as AOQ in Speedy’s absense, and even snagged us a Ghost Flag! Glad the mere thought of a Roomba Q scared everyone off (which is surely what happened). Also, with Sonic out for Name o Rama, we improvised (our efforts were blessed by the crow):

Kids, Shine your tire sleds and don your weighted vests, because next Tuesday, the 24th, The Grimace Cometh. Evanescence and pain are going to have you seeing Purple and cursing the Hamburger Witch that borne him! Start Hydrating now.


THE SCENE: Abandoned except for that lone AOQ Dawson. What a HIM!

F3 WELCOME & DISCLAIMER Welcome fellers. Don’t be hurtin yourselves on my watch.

10 DP, 20 SSH, 10 Michael Phelps all in cadence but not at the same time

Burpee Mile Part 1
Run to bottom of stairs @Riverwalk (.25mile),  12 Burpees
Run to tower at Beale St Landing (.25 mile), 12 Burpees

Dora 1-2-3
Partnered up. YHC shadow stalked Thibodaux and Lazarus due to odd numbers.
While P1 is doing the 1-2-3, P2 Bear Crawls up to first light pole on Tower Hill, then run rest of way up, back down to first light pole and Bear Crawl rest (modify to Crawl Bear or Strutting as needed).

100 Merkins
200 LBCs
300 Imperial Squat Walkers, 1 is 1 (made it to 200 before time to head back)

Burpee Mile Part 2
Run to base of stairs @Riverwalk (.25mile), Bear Crawl up to top, 12 Burpees
Run back to start (.25 mile), 12 Burpees

Freddy Mercury x 30 IC, American Hammer x 20 IC (yelling as to be heard over train RIGHT NEXT TO US), Flutter Kicks x 10 IC, Plank for 1.5 minutes while sharing things we’re thankful for

5 PAX: 1 Willy Loman @Thibodaux from F3NewOrleans but residing in China for work, Blackhawk, Lazarus, Dawson (AOQ), Photoshop (QiC)

1. Words are a gift from God
The ability to use words at all is a gift that has been given to all us by our Creator. As such, we have a responsibility to use our words well. As we’ve seen, God was the first one to harness the creative force of words;and he has entrusted us with the same ability to use words to create the world around us. Given the substantial nature of this gift, we can’t just throw our words around any old way we please; they contain too much power. The only acceptable response to the gift we’ve been given is to show respect to the Giver by using it well.

2. Words can build up or tear down
As a kid, you probably chanted the phrase “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” I know I did. With a little age and experience, we come to realize that even though it sounds good in theory, the phrase is just plain wrong. Words can hurt. I bet you don’t have any problem remembering the last harsh words that were spoken to you or the last encouraging words you received. Other people’s words can have an incredible impact on us, whether we want them to or not. They have the ability to create the atmosphere of our lives. They also have the ability to create atmosphere for others.

3. The quality of your life is determined by the quality of your words
The way you choose to communicate will ultimately affect every area of your life. Words aren’t neutral. Every word that goes out has a consequence attached to it. How you speak to your friends, family members, and coworkers will determine the quality of those relationships. Your internal dialogue with yourself will determine the quality of your actions and interactions each day. It naturally follows that the quality of your life is determined by the words you speak.

Blackhawk’s friend Kaitlyn (wife and mom) – recently found out she has rare blood cancer

Got to check out that playground by Beale Street Landing for use in workout. Looks awesome! Thibodaux told us about a group in China that offers FREE Workouts similar to F3 but for males and females. FitFam:

When the lights go out

THE SCENE: 9/5/19 Quiet. Peaceful quiet. Zima already on the scene as sub-AOQ. Halfway through the workout, lights went out. Zima, “This is the part in the movie where somebody gets kilt or disappears” We had each other’s six, so All Good.


DP x15 IC, Arm Circles x 20 IC, Rev AC x 20 IC, Imperial Walkers x 20 IC

Rucking with Extras

  • Ruck .25 mile, 25 Ruck Curls
  • Ruck .25 mile, 25 Ruck Overhead Presses
  • Ruck .25 mile, 25 Ruck Skull Crushers
  • Ruck .25 mile, 25 Ruck Rows (Astro from the Jetsons, anybody?)
  • RINSE and REPEAT for 2.5 miles total

MARY: nada

2 PAX: Zima (sAOQ) and Photoshop (QiC), where the heck is errrybody?

Danger is Your Business
Our King, Jesus Christ, calls us to a new kind of life, His kind of life. “Follow me” is quoted more than fifteen times in the Gospels. Following Him, however, goes against prevailing culture—for which safety and security are utmost priorities. The kind of life to which Jesus calls us is not safe, nor secure.

Here’s a report from a man, the Apostle Paul, who lived it: Five times I received at the hands of the Jews the forty lashes less one. Three times I was beaten with rods. Once I was stoned. Three times I was shipwrecked; a night and a day I was adrift at sea; on frequent journeys, in danger from rivers, danger from robbers, danger from my
own people, danger from Gentiles, danger in the city, danger in the wilderness, danger at sea, danger from false brothers; in toil and hardship, through many a sleepless night, in hunger and thirst, often without food, in cold and exposure. (2 Cor. 11:24-27)

God didn’t design Paul for safe or secure; nor did He us. We’re all designed for big, dangerous lives: “. . . for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control” (2 Tim. 1:7).

Okay, so what do we do?
Insert your name into 2 Timothy 1:7:

“. . . for God gave [ . . . you . . . ] a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.”

Read it through again. Now, fast-forward to the end of your life; imagine friends and family saying that of you: “He was fearless. He had power and love and self-control.” What do you need to begin now, to ensure those words then? What bold changes will you make? Remember, your days are numbered (Ps. 90:12). Commit, brother, to make at least one change this week.

Zima is a great PAX to chatter with on rucks.

Iron PAX Challenge