November 3, 2020

Another Helping of Slow Cooked PAX at the Annex

The weather was dark and cold, but not yet freezing, with very little wind, like being trapped in a refrigerator. And yes, the light does go off. I should know. I’m also a household appliance.

Dodging that litigation and even managed to disclaim two l8r-bois during counting.

20 x SSH
20 x Imperial Walkers
40 x Arm Circles (20 forward, 20 reverse)
20 x Hillbillies
10 x Super slow Daisy Pickers

Grimace was poppin off on those daisy pickers. Mostly in the legs.

We had about 3 PAX that remember that I ring in slow cooker season with a slow cooker Q! Last year, the meat fell off the bones (figuratively describing the DOMS that plagued me for 3 days after), and the onions were delectable (I have no idea), so we did it again. I was gonna have an election Q to vote for exercises, but THE ELECTION IS HECKIN’ STRESSFUL ENOUGH. Anyway, the trick to a good Slow Cooker Recipe/Weinke (Weinipe?) is Constant Muscle Engagement. We do exercises slowly in order to spend more time per minute actually using the muscles, letting inertia do none of the work! And as usual, it wouldn’t be an internet recipe 2020 with lots of Instagram-able photos before the actual recipe

Here is the Recipe from last year with Substitutions in italics!


  • 8 PAX (1 of which is a QIC, and 1 AOQ)
  • Soft Playground Flooring
  • Steps near something to hold onto for balance
  • A wall
  • A short loop of pavement
  • A playground with plenty of spots for inverted rows
  • A speaker with a slow bpm, but upbeat playlist featuring songs about slowing down.
  • Salty comments to taste


  1. Explain to PAX that slow is the name of the game and mosey to soft playground.
  2. Fire up the Playlist to set the mood. I begin with “Slow Ride” by Foghat.
  3. Subject PAX to Volt 45s. Volt 45s is a decontructed sit up, much in the vein of a Colt and Bolt 45. Start at 45° from the ground, and slowly bring the angle up to 90° and back down to 45° for 15 reps, then from 0° to 45° for 15 reps, then from 0° all the way up to 90° for 15 reps. The count is a very slow “UP…2…3…4…DOWN…2…3…<Rep #>” as 1 rep. 1 rep should take about 10 seconds.
  4. Stir the PAX by moseying them through the loop and ending up at the steps.
  5. Have PAX perform 20 slow calf raises, using the same count as the Volt 45s, making sure PAX raise as much as they can, and descend as slow as their ankles will allow. Hold the last few positions extra long.
  6. Mosey to wall for a Wall sit through a song of Q’s choosing. 1 minute ON, 30 seconds OFF, for the entirety of “Float On” by Modest Mouse in our case.
  7. Stir PAX again through the loop to the playground.
  8. Perform 20 Tempo merkins (slow 123 down, up on 4) and 20 Tempo Inverted Rows. (Not enough shoulder in the fridge, so we just did 10 of each)
  9. Stir PAX again through the loop to the playground.
  10. Repeat Step 3’s Volt 45s, keeping an eye on the time so as to leave thyme for roseMARY and not overcook the PAX.
    10.5 Had enough thyme to do 20 more calf raises
  11. Garnish at PLC with Nanners.


For one shining moment, I forgot it was a very politically charged day and called Al Gore until time. It’s just a good leg and ab exercise! I was reminded and admonished the PAX to hold it until Florida came back with results.

8 Count- Lager, DHL, Jet Blue, Grimace, Tremor, Couch Potato, Speedy (AOQHIM), Roomba (QIC)

Reminded the PAX that the result of the Election won’t be final until later this week, if then. The result could shift. Don’t show your butt on Social Media. Being obnoxious about your cause/faith/politics doesn’t help convince people of it.

As part of some strange “not voter fraud” scheme Gun Show clued me into, Gun show was technically “dead” today, but his spirit was with us as everyone worked together to try and mess with the counting. Yelling “17!” is contagious. Grimace was a faithful counting resource of Sesame Street caliber. We had so much fun complaining about Volt 45s, that I’ll have to use those more often.

Insert information about upcoming events, 2nd or 3rd F opportunities, and any other announcements.

Workout Date: